When we started this journey I was 34 years old. Old enough by TTC standards but it seems so young now. I'll be 37 on Friday, how did that happen? How am I still doing this? I had no illusions that I was going to get pregnant on the first cycle or even quickly necessarily but I thought by now we'd be in a different place. I originally wanted to have a couple of kids (close together obviously because of my age), now I'd be happy with an only child. As time passes my expectations seem to get lower and lower.
I have no doubt that this cycle is a bust too. Most of my IPS went away after the HCG wore off. I was going to test on Friday but I don't think I can handle the BFN as my birthday present. I'll probably break down and get it over with tomorrow. We have baseball tickets for Friday night and I'd love to have a couple of beers to 'celebrate'.
Sorry this post is such a downer - can you tell I've got the Progesterone Crazies going on??? :)
((hugs)) Mel. I really get how you're feeling. I didn't think we were starting *that* late when we got started with this but now I just feel SO OLD and like I screwed up. I look at myself in the mirror and I feel like I've aged 10 years in the past 2. I look so tired. I look like my mother when I was in middle school. And, she was an "old" mom because she didn't have me until she was *gasp* 27!!! How your perspective can change.
ReplyDeleteHoping so much that your body will surprise you.
I'm with ya sister. I'm hitting 38 in a few months and trying very hard not to freak out. ((Hugs))
ReplyDeleteI only have about another year or two of "trying" because of previous complications she doesn't want me to try past 35. I hope that it is just the progesterone talking and you get a surprise when you test.
ReplyDeleteThe numbers are freaking me out, too. All I can do is try to ignore them as much as I can, so it doesn't hurt the process even more.
ReplyDeleteYes, I wish I would have had the chance to start doing this 10 years ago. But I did not. And who is there to blame?
Chins up, Girl! you are on a good track and I know you are very close to that BFP! and I am here cheering for your 1ww.
Giant (((HUGS))) Mel!! I feel the same way, I wanted 2 kids originally, & have resigned myself to the fact that I'll be extremely lucky if I have 1 now.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're wrong, & you get a great birthday surprise, & if not, have more than a few beers! Happy birthday girl!!!